The Blur

Photo by Photoholgic on Unsplash

I only tried to do it so
I might be doing what I should,
And whether I will ever know
If what I try to do is good

Depends entirely on where
I find myself when I get there,
But I suspect preoccupation
Will likely make me unaware.

I steal attention from the day
Too tied up in what might be,
To even realize what I’ve done
Or see what’s right in front of me.

I’m too scared to let it fall
Worried if it comes to pass,
There might not be a thing to say
No performative dumb task.

No claim that it must be okay
Because I spent all my zeal,
And swear my toil is my badge
Never getting a fair deal.

I live in panicked indigestion
Terrified of being seen,
I waste the life that I am given
Because I have to chase the dream.