One big hit

A poem about addiction

Photo by Erik Mclean on Unsplash

Gambling with myself,

I remember to forget,

All the disadvantages,

Addictions have afforded.

But this feels like a winner,

The signs are all familiar,

Numbers suggesting nothing,

But cherished desperation.

The taste of metal as I speak,

My pulse accelerates,

I think I see a blue sky,

From the cushioned concrete floor.

The voice is different now,

Eyes disinterested,

I tell myself it’s over,

My lips are dry my body spent.

Cold air licks me clean,

I’ll get it right next time.

I must forget the empty room,

And the first sight of the promised land,

Memories discarded,

Resurrected by the lies.

There’s still enough to feed myself,

All I need is one big hit.